A Look Back at 2010... in HAIKU

Let me prelude this with a conversation I had with a friend during the making of these haiku:

Me: sup?
Adam: nada at work you?
Me: Answering one of those "looking back at 2010" surveys... except all my answers are haiku
Adam: Haha, interesting
Me: It's fun, but also frustrating, because I'll get something with the right syllables, but then I read it out loud and it just sounds like a bad William Shatner impression.
"a date is not so..... important, but events are..... to be remembered.      ..... KHAAAAAAAAAAAN!!"
Adam: hahaha

1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?

A year full of change
New experience abound
In the theatre

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Opportunities
Do not watch calendars, so
Why wait for New Years’?

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Life is a blessing
But the only life I see
Is all around me

4. Did anyone close to you die?

In a world so full
Of people so young and free
How can there be death?

5. What countries did you visit?

I like to travel
But alas, I lack the funds.
I am stuck at home.

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?

Change means new faces
What is new now, I hope, will
Become familiar

7. What date(s) from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Dates have less meaning
Than the actual events;
I don’t remember

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Sometimes great triumphs
Come in the form of small feats
Like making you smile

9. What was your biggest failure?

I would like to say
That none of my failures were
Too great to be solved

10. Did you suffer any illness or injury?

After Aida
I found myself getting sick
With the common cold

11. What was the best thing you bought?

I can’t remember
Everything I bought this year
But who really cares

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

My cat Coco-Bean
Used to be kind of a bitch
But now she is great

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

I don’t understand
People who think it is fine
To make others cry

14. Where did most of your money go?

Most of my money
Went towards my stupid rent
Rent is too damn high

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Life is way more fun
When you see everything as
Something exciting

16. What song will always remind you of 2010?

Songs don’t remind me
Of dates or even of years
Only of events

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder?

The greatest feeling
I have ever felt is that
Of true happiness

ii. thinner or fatter? 

I lost four whole pounds
When I worked on Aida
But I don’t care much

iii. richer or poorer?

See question fourteen
Broke college kids will complain:
Rent is too damn high

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? 

One thing that I hope
Never to have is a life
Without adventure

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? 

Thoughts become worries
When your imagination
Is a pessimist

20. How will you be spending Christmas? 

Christmas will be spent
With my family in New York
Eating lots of food

22. Did you fall in love in 2010?

I fell in love, but
Not with a human being;
Instead, with the stage

23. How many one night stands?

One night stands really
Are not something I would do
I would rather date

24. What was your favorite TV program? This year?

Twilight really sucks
Instead everyone should watch
True Blood, season three.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

Hate is a strong word.
Sometimes I will disagree,
But I will not hate

26. What was the best book you read? 

Good books are like friends;
It is hard to choose the best.
They are all lovely

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Kate Miller-Heidke
Is a beautiful woman
Who can really sing

28. What did you want and get? 

My little red dress
Was really quite expensive
And yet I bought it

29. What did you want and not get?

There are many things
That I want but cannot have
I say, c’est la vie

30. What was your favorite film of this year? 

The Last Airbender
Made me want to choke a bitch
Harry Potter rocked

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010? 

The clothes that I wear
Do not define me. But hey,
I like to dress up

32. What kept you sane?

Busy is better
Than constantly being bored
Thank you, social life

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Natalie Portman
Has always been fabulous
What a lovely gal

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

I would have to say
That don’t ask don’t tell really
Needs to be repealed

35. Who did you miss?

Friends come and friends go
And though the distance is great
They are in my thoughts

36. Who was the best new person you met?

I am in a sea
Of new and awesome people
How can I decide?

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.

Confidence is key
If you are not confident
Then at least pretend

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

I see you drivin’
‘round town with the girl I love
And I’m like, haiku

Politics in Space

If there's one topic of conversation that I like to steer clear of, it's politics. Why? Simply put, talking about politics ruins everything.

Okay, so maybe that's a bit extreme. But it's almost true.

Every time I've witnessed a political-- ahem-- "discussion" between two individuals with opposing viewpoints, it usually ends in heated tones and both parties being dissatisfied with the other. And then there's a general consensus to "talk about something else," which sometimes results in not-so-subtle jabs back and forth disguised as normal conversation. Which, if we're being honest, usually evolves into a revisiting of the former discussion on politics.

Or, on a good day there's a discussion with good amount of humor thrown in, followed by an unspoken agreement that all parties consider the world of politics to be a mad, mixed up world that really isn't even worth fighting about on such an insignificant level. Those are the kind that I like to have.

People with the same or similar viewpoints, of course, can go on for hours about how the other guys are just complete idiots, and who-do-they-think-they-are-anyway, etc. But some part of me feels like that's unhealthy.

And then there are people like Glenn Beck and Keith Olbermann whose sole purpose is to make this country so much more difficult to live in by giving the ignorant masses ammunition to use against the other ignorant masses.

And really, it's the media we have to blame for all their spinning and biases.

*[Insert world-weary statement, followed by profound-sounding-but-really-kind-of-stupid/obvious rhetorical question here]*

And now, instead of rambling all day about how people need to chill out (seriously) and accept that different people have different opinions based on their social upbringing (seriously.) and we should really all just get along and try to be informed voters without shoving our views in each others faces (seriously), I'll just post this thing from collegehumor.com that sums up my view on political conversations perfectly.

I'd like to say that I'm usually "the thoughtful one" in this scenario, but I usually assume that everyone's too wrapped up in their own argument to succumb to reason, so more often than not I end up being "the peacemaker." To which someone replies "haha" then continues the argument.

Oh well.

Harry Potter and the End of My Childhood

I have a confession to make: I didn't see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Part I) on opening night. Nor did I see it the next day. Or the next day. In fact, I waited two weeks after the release until I went to see it.

It wasn't because I didn't have enough time. In fact, after Aida closed, all I had was time. It wasn't because I'm not a fan of the movies (they've been getting progressively better since the beginning). It wasn't even that I didn't want to spend the whopping $9 for a movie ticket.

Truthfully, I'm just not ready for it to end.

I know that this is only the first part. But it's Deathly Hallows. It's the last part of the series. This is a huge deal.

Ever since I started reading Harry Potter, there's always been that sense of waiting for the next book to come out. And when they started making movies, I was waiting for the next movie to come out. Even when the last book came out, I couldn't wait to read it. I kept telling myself to take my time reading it, because it was the last one. There were no more. But I didn't. I read the whole thing in one sitting. And when I finished, it was completely surreal.

But then I told myself, "Hey, it's okay. There are still more movies that have to come out."

And here is the penultimate one. And next summer, it will be the last one. And then what?

A young woman once stopped J.K Rowling and said, "you are my childhood." And that basically sums up how I feel about this whole thing. Harry Potter was such a huge part of my childhood. And now that it's nearly over, it's like my childhood has finally ended.

When I moved out of my house? No big deal. Getting a job? Whatever. Paying bills? Well that's just a pain.

But the end of Harry Potter? What? 

Honestly, I don't even know what else to say.

The Eye of the Beholder.

Some people collect baseball cards. Some people collect stamps. Some people collect seashells.

I collect beautiful things.

My house if full of them. Sometimes they're little statues, sometimes they're paintings, sometimes they're pictures. Sometimes they're scarves, sometimes they're books, sometimes they're necklaces and bracelets and rings.

I get them from thrift stores and flea markets and my grandmother's basement. I make them or I buy them online. And sometimes they're given to me.

On my laptop, I have a folder labeled "Lovelies" where I keep pictures I find on the internet (or that I take) that I find beautiful.

Here are some of my favorites:

The Black Sea.

This is Coco, one of my cats. She sleeps like this often.

El Cafate, Argentina

A picture I took on one of my many drives to from Columbus to Rochester.

Wherever this is, I want to be there.

Here too.

Every time I look at this picture, it makes me want to go on a road trip.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Gender stereotypes have always frustrated me.

Picture this: a girl who plays video games, who can change her car's oil or a flat tire by herself, who works building scenery, who gets excited about taking a welding class, who owns more tools than she does shoes, who swears like a pirate, and who spent her childhood snowmobiling and dirt biking.

Now picture this: a girl who likes to shop, who is a hopeless romantic, who loves wearing dresses, who thinks chivalry is cute, who loves listening to Katy Perry, who loves dancing, and who freaks out and tells all her friends when a cute boy talks to her.

Now, maybe there are a few people out there who wouldn't picture two very different girls in this situation. More likely, you might picture more of a tomboy for the first girl. Maybe she dresses in baggier clothes, has a shorter haircut, doesn't wear a lot of makeup. And maybe the second girl is more... well, girly. Dresses and pink and long hair and cute shoes.

Maybe your thoughts are even more extreme; the first girl is "butch," the second more "normal," or even more attractive. 

The thing is, everything I listed is something that's true about me. Sure, I have seven or more pairs of high heels (which doesn't even include other types of shoes) and I know all the words to "Firework." But I'm also handy with a screw gun, and I bought Starcraft II at midnight when it was released.

And while I'll never feel ashamed to walk out in my best dress, I'll always hesitate to jump into a conversation about which NHL teams have the best chance at the Stanley Cup.

I know that it shouldn't matter, but society has always taught us that "feminine" women are more liked, and generally more accepted than those of us who venture into the world of traditionally male interests and activities.

But say I were to publicly embrace this other anti-feminine side of myself. Would the world perceive me differently? Or do they already? And what about men who are interested in things that are traditionally considered "girly"? Are they pressured the way I am, or worse?

As time goes on, perhaps we as a society will become more comfortable stretching and breaking our gender stereotypes. But for now I suppose I'll continue to keep my video game playing/car loving/power tool wielding/ hockey watching side to myself.

a vain moment.

art credit

Everyone, at some point or another, wonders what people must think of them. I sometimes think I wonder more than others. Especially with all the new people I've been meeting lately.

The thing is, my rational brain is always having to remind my emotional brain that people most likely don't think of me often enough for it to even matter. After all, how often is it that I sit down and actually think, "Hmm, what opinions do I have about Person XYZ?" The answer is not very often (unless you count just now, when I actually DID sit down and think about several people, solely because I realized I really hadn't before).

And when I do begin to form opinions on other people, they're quite trivial. "He seems like a funny guy," or "She seems like she knows what she's doing," or "They're quite obnoxious." Or, more rarely, "Wow, that guy had three sets of eyes!"

But then, isn't it amazing how these silly little observations can affect our perceptions of people? Maybe I'll meet someone on a day when I'm stressed out, and someone will think "Wow, what a bitch." Or maybe I'll be in a friendly mood and someone will take it the wrong way and think that I'm just a creepy gal. I use these examples because these are judgments that I've made about other people at some point in my life. And for a period of time, this is what I thought about people I hardly knew. Things that might have prevented me from getting to know them at all. And it's not like I sat here and sorted out my feelings for these people based on whatever might have occurred. So is my rational brain not so rational at all?

Jane Austin once wrote that "Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves; vanity, to what we would have others think of us." So perhaps I'm simply a vain person. Because I would have people think that I'm intelligent, insightful, witty, playful, adventurous, generous, free-spirited, fun-loving, positive, intuitive, confident, cute, charming, open-minded and strong. Because I am all of those things.

But I'm also selfish, egotistic, insecure, cynical, condescending, controlling, lazy, passive aggressive, flaky, idealistic, self-indulgent, indecisive, competitive, and impressionable. And I would rather people not know any of that... at least until they know the good stuff first.

Of course, any one who was interested enough to read this far probably knows most of these things about me already.

Falalalala lala la la..

December is here! Which means there's only one thing on my mind: Christmas! (Okay, so maybe there's a lot on my mind, but Christmas is certainly one of those things). And before you get all carried away thinking I'm some materialistic, jesus loving, family centered, carol singing, cookie baking fiend (none of which are necessarily bad things, of course), let me tell you what Christmas means for me.

Christmas time means the cities are lit up with strings of lights that make even the grayest buildings look beautiful. It means people are extra nice to each other (although why we need a holiday for that is beyond me). It means hot coco and silly family gatherings and putting up Christmas trees. It means good food and Christmas parties. It means a much needed break from classes. It means CHRISTMAS MUSIC!(!!!!!!!) It means warm pajamas and a fire and feeling comfortable all over. It means my grandmother giving me silly toys and doodads that make me smile even though I'm an adult. It means ditching Columbus and going to Buffalo and Rochester (and this year, Florida as well). It means catching up on all the books I've been meaning to read. And it means lots of love going around.

And with all that going on, how could I not be excited?