New Horizons

I made a life list. Also known as a bucket list, but life list sounds much less morbid.

At first I was just doing it for fun. But as I began to come up with more things to put on the list, I started thinking pretty seriously about everything I was writing down. In a crazy sort of way, it allowed me to really re-evaluate my life and what's important to me.

While looking over my list again, I began to think about just how much time I spend worrying about the future and stressing out about life in general. I don't remember the last time that I experienced something fun and meaningful and life-changing. I do a lot of introspection and I'm always trying to find meaning in what I do, but the last time I was really able to completely take myself out of my usual environment and immerse myself in an experience was Outward Bound. What I wouldn't give right now for another week on that sailboat off the coast of Maine... no motors, no cabin, no heat, no technology. Just a boat, a tarp, the ocean, and the stars.

Or maybe a road trip. Out west to California, Seattle, Vancouver... or back home to Boston and Portland. With no plans, just a map and a journal.

And once I save up enough money, actual world traveling... Spain, Greece, New Zealand, Argentina... so many places I want to see.

Part of me wants to just run off on my own and discover the world. Another part of me wants to bring someone that I'm close to. Another part of me wants to go off on an adventure with a near-stranger and see how much we can learn about each other.

I made a promise to myself: provided I don't die an untimely death, I am going to do everything on this list. Maybe some of the things on it are a little ambitious, but they're all realistic and doable.

I realize this post is a little unfocused, but that's kind of how my life is right now. It's all over the place, but I'm slowly piecing it back together. And in the process I'm finding that pieces that fit before may not slide in as easily as they used to... but that's okay. Because everything works out.