Musings

I feel scattered.

I've been going, and going, andgoing, andgoingandgoingandgoing since the beginning of January, and for the first time in weeks I've stopped to reflect. Everything in my life right now is new, and although I'm used to change (and chaos, and busyness, and sleep deprivation), I'm not used to not having something in my life that is constant.
I'm surrounded by familiar faces, but not a single one of them knows a thing about me.
I'm in a new apartment that doesn't quite feel like home yet-- and I'm alone.
I have new goals, new ideas, new plans, no plans....
I've been stuck in my writer's mind for days.

I need to rebuild.

I need to re-evaluate my life and my future.

I need to connect on a deeper level with these new people in my life.

It's like picking up grains of sand.

It's all the same; you can't tell one grain from another.

You don't know if what you're picking up is something you've already held or if it's something new

or if it's all new.

It all feels new.

And I feel.... scattered.